Have Baby, Get Ladies

Many years ago, when I was young and single, I used to diligently read all the articles on "how to pick up women" that I could find. Hours of research didn't help much, all the advice was much too contrived and desparate, but one of the most common themes was getting a wingman.

When going out at night, by necessity, that wingman would be a friend, willing to fake interest in the girl's less attractive friend for long enough to get a phone number or to crash and burn completely. But there were some other wingman options for the daylight hours.

One of the most popular was getting a small animal. Puppies are great, no girl, the theory goes, can resist stopping to pat a puppy. Use the animal to draw them into conversation. By having a puppy you are automatically seen as sensitive and caring, willing to show your vulnerable side exactly the type of man that's most attractive to women.

These articles usually had a sidenote along the lines of even better than a puppy was a baby. Preferably not your own, just one you could borrow and take for a walk in the park for a couple of hours (after all, having your own baby so you could pull women was sort of defeating the point!).

Anyway, the point I was trying to make was that babies are great, and they do work, at least to get attention. the first time I took my daughter out strapped in to my chest in the Baby Bourne, I got so many glances from women that it took me a long time to realise that it was not my fly that was open, but my daughter, attracting women like flies.

There's something about a man on his own carrying a baby that gets coos - I think my record is 7 in 60 seconds, not that I would be so shallow as to count them! It's typical, all that time and effort spent trying to attract women and when you don't need them, there is all the attention in the world just out there waiting. Right, I'm off to eBay, I'm sure there must be a niche for a baby rental scheme out there somewhere and it's about time the daughter started to pay her bills!